Fear. Trust. Awe

The Evolution of Courageous Living

hey, this is ish.

For a deeper dive into myself, check out my life vision.

Splitting time between one of the Gulf Islands of Canada and the Sacred Valley of Peru, I am an artist, a meditator, a yogi, a writer, and a relational facilitator who guides men and women into deeper experiences of life.

For the most part, my life is sweet, and I am blessed.

It wasn’t always like this.

Growing up undocumented and in a strictly conservative household, I learned more about the edge of fear than I could from any textbook.

I navigated most of my life in the shadows and in a perpetual state of survival mode. During college, I lived off of two cans of black beans every two weeks while living in a basement next to a couple of dead cats in one of the worst parts of San Francisco. I didn’t tell anyone about my living situation because I feared being seen. Because being seen meant I’d be caught.

Through my two decades of living in isolation, I learned that survival doesn’t mean just getting by; it’s also constricting one’s world to avoid the risks of truly living. And also that there is an inherent risk in fully living, as opposed to just being alive. 

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had this unrelenting feeling that there was something deeper to life, which I never had permission to pursue. Everyone continued to point me toward safety, which meant staying in hiding. But this so called safety never gave any of these folks satisfaction, contentment, or happiness.

Eventually, I gave myself to permission to lean into my fear, trust the unknown, and take risks. And to see what was on the other side of fear.

So I leapt, literally and figuratively, off massive cliffs despite being unable to swim, and out of the sky despite my fear of heights.

I joined the military to find a tribe of brothers that I never had growing up, and also to find a cause greater than myself.

I married, got divorced, explored polyamory and celibacy, and eventually dove into tantra, to work through my own attachment wounds and fears around intimacy.

I moved across country and continents, searching for a place to call home.

I spent time in buddhist monasteries, and months at plant medicine retreats.

My many experiences have been confrontations with my limits.

And each time, I have emerged with a deeper understanding of what’s truly possible.

(rough) chronological bio

  • Born in one of the most populous and corrupt countries in the world.

    Grew up in a privileged, affluent family with lots of opportunities.

  • Moved to US. Encountered a visa snafu soon after, rendering our legal status invalid.

    This started a close to two-decade journey of living in the shadows, a massive contrast from how I’d lived previously.

    This also started the fracture between my father and I.

  • Moved to San Francisco for college. Lived in a basement suite in Daly City, colloquially known as Daly Shitty.

    Lived off of two cans of beans on a bi-weekly basis, and most of my time was spent either in class or at home, since I couldn’t afford anything else.

    I learned about dumpster diving during this time from Nate, my Advanced English professor, who’s become my friend since then.

  • On my way back from visiting my girlfriend on Thanksgiving Eve, got pulled by Border Patrol in San Diego, and spent close to a week in solitary confinement.

    My last two days were spent bunking with a criminal from America’s Most Wanted.

    I was let go after a petition was filed on my behalf by a congressman from Illinois.

  • First experience with Mother Aya.

    Followed soon by my first experience with Vipassana.

    Also left mainland US for the first time in a decade (Puerto Rico).

  • Had my first NDE.

    I dove off a 70 feet high cliff into a waterfall at Yosemite. I couldn’t swim back to shore, and drowned for close to 3 minutes before I was resuscitated.

    This is also when I encountered Divine Light, my word for God.

    Helping others experience This (without dying) became my mission.

  • Decided to join the US military in the middle of an Odesza concert. My then girlfriend was shocked. My desire to do this was primarily out of curiosity, and also to see if I could bring some peace (naively) to the institution. This would’ve also granted me American citizenship.

    Ended up spending 4 years here, without ever getting that paper.

    MOS 88M.

  • Attended Burning Man after wanting to for more than 5 years.

    Had a profound experience that led me to quit my job and travel to Kaua’i right after, where I met my now ex-wife.

    Lost my best friend to cancer. Here’s a video I made of our time together using the clips he shot.

    I also joined my first men’s group. That in conjunction with plant medicine and meditation became the three pillars that my life continues to sit on.

  • Moved to Canada. Knew that by doing so, I would be banned from re-entering the US, my home, for atleast the next 10 years.

    After lots of deliberation, I made the move, knowing that I’d lose access to the place I called home, but that I’d also gain access to all the other places.

  • Separated from my then wife.

    Entered into a two year long feminine cleanse, which ended up being one of my most developmental phases to date.

    Spent 3 months in a Vipassana center and 2 months in a Aya center in Peru, which also was my first trip out of North America in 2 decades.

    In Peru, I immersed myself in two dietas back to back, one with Chullachaqui and one with Bobinsasa. After that, I travelled the country for 4 more months. It’s my soul home, and I’ll live there one day.

    At the end of my time in Peru, I was recommended a Gulf Island off the coast of BC, which is how I landed in my current home.

    I celebrated my birthday for the first time.

    And I started skydiving, wanting to conquer my fear of heights.

  • During a routine check-up, got diagnosed with a debilitating kidney disease.

    Had two surgeries and was rendered to bed close to the whole year.

    Published a book while living off of unemployment and support from family and friends.

  • Returned to Peru, and brought 6 men with me, which ended up being each man’s first time experiencing the Divine Light.

    Finally filed for divorce.

    Met my new love.

My greatest lesson has been about trust — in myself and life.

I experientially know that even in the face of fear, there is something beautiful on the other side. Every time I’ve leaned into my worries, I’ve discovered resilience and a profound sense of joy and connection — a sense of awe, which has been my guiding muse through the journey of the unknown.

I hope to help you experience that same breakthrough, to see that your fears aren’t as daunting as they seem and that life can be a canvas of awe and wonder, waiting for you to explore it fully.

Values

Awe | Moments that stop you dead in your tracks and render you speechless at the enormous magic and beauty of Life

Depth | What lies underneath someone’s surface? Their deep longing, pain, joy, memory, humanity

Integrity | Standing for what’s authentic, regardless of how others perceive and accept it

Resilience | The ability to stand firm and move through. It does not falter or capsize, but like bamboo, it has an innate quality of being able to move through the eye of a storm, knowing that life is on the other side

Awareness | All senses are active. Being aware of oneself and one’s surroundings, being able to pierce the veil of the surface, and tap into the truth of the moment

Courage | The quality that helps one move through the dark. The quality in all of us that helped our ancestors survive death, extinction, violence, and plague

Connection | The knowing that everything is connected, that you’re not alone but part of a greater thing that’s beyond every one of us, and which lives within us. It’s the gnosis that we’re taken care of

CREDENTIALS

For the A-types, below are some of my credentials and trainings over the last decade and a half.

I’m grateful for these experiences, because through them, I’ve learned that the best training for life is life itself.

Transpersonal Facilitation w/ Amir Khalighi

Breathwave Facilitation w/ Robin Clements

Rite of Passage w/ School of Lost Borders. Salt Spring Island, BC

Soulcraft Initiation w/ Bill Plotkin. Victoria, BC

Shipibo Dieta w/ Maestro Don Miguel. Iquitos, Peru

Q’ero Initiation w/ Juan Kucho. Sacred Valley, Peru

Transformational Coaching @ Erickson Coaching International

QiGong and Internal Alchemy w/ Chris Bale

Masculine Embodiment & Sexual Polarity w/ John Wineland

Advanced Lovemaking w/ David Deida

Masculine Containment w/ Om Rupani

Sexual Polarity w/ Justin Patrick Pierce

Zen Coach @ Unified Mindfulness

500 hr Therapeutic Yoga @ Ajna Yoga. Victoria, BC

Interpersonal Communications @ Landmark Institute, San Francisco, CA

200 hr Dharma Yoga @ Awaken Warrior. Los Angeles, CA

Guides

My inspiration comes from conversations with strangers, trekking tallmountains, and swimming in cold waters.

In addition, I’m grateful to the ones below for initiating, guiding, and mentoring my being and purpose into the world.

if you’re ready, let’s begin telling your story.

TESTIMONIALS

  • "Ish is a natural at what he does."

    Ben Bellamy, CEO

  • "Ish is simply amazing! The way that he kept his presence with me made me feel heard, cared for, and inspired. I highly recommend Ish to anyone. You won't regret it, that's for sure!"

    Verena Gruber, Archeologist

  • "A gifted space holder. It was a powerful journey being guided by Ish through some dark, dark crevices of my past. Now, I’m born anew."

    Tito Ohep, Sound Healer

  • "Ish is a one-of-a-kind individual, and I highly HIGHLY recommend you work with him, if you ever get the chance! He allows for you to process your emotions and thoughts in a way you may never have before."

    Nate Maertens, University Professor

  • "Ish has the beautiful gift of seeing your truth, of seeing what your eyes don’t see but your soul knows. He helped me to connect with my heart, moving from the stories in my mind to the feeling of inner knowing."

    James Morrissey, Data Scientist

  • "Over six sessions, I became clear of some of the blindspots around leadership and how I was showing up at work and in life. Through Ish’s support, I was able to make some potent breakthroughs that I wasn’t even aware of in the beginning, let alone break through them."

    MARK GOBIEN, TEAM LEAD

  • "Through our work, I developed deeper understanding of myself and how I behave for the first time in 35 years. It’s already showing in my relationship."

    Ryan Abrams, Software Developer

  • "Ish has the touch of a tender poet. His words are simple yet profound. His medicine flows forth, unabashed, as from a quiet roaring river."

    Thomas Clayton, Sound Wizard

  • "My husband and I are grateful for Ish from the bottom of our hearts for all that he has provided our son- mentor-wise, spiritual- wise, adventure-wise, emotional-wise, connection-wise."

    Corinne Smth

  • "Ish is a brother I value deeply. He is a leader of breadth, quiet strength and heart."

    Speed Weed, TV Producer and Embodiment Coach

  • "Ish has true vision and force. His passion, rigor and patience is empowering. His capacity for observation and taking intuitive action is exemplary."

    Richard Burton, Lawyer

  • "Ish has genuine, authentic curiosity. That shows in his work and in his interactions. I’m grateful for his ability to hold space and his ability to direct in the most precise way, at the most precise time."

    Carlo Federiconi, Program Manager

  • "Ish has an uncanny ability to connect and understand where someone’s coming from."

    Quadri Akande, Solutions Engineer

  • "Ish is the man!! He is simply a model in terms of how to be a great presence to others. A natural diplomat and a person who will enrich your life."

    Simon Dragon, Hypnotherapist

  • "Ish encouraged me to pursue what I love because, in the end, it will pay off more than anything."

    Steve Sloane, Graduate Student

  • "Being in Ish’s container was the catalyst for my growth. This group helped push me to take some brave steps, including leaving Canada and returning back to Europe after 5 years, and forming my own group. It was life changing, and if you give this work a chance, I have no doubt it can change your life too."

    Kevin Rafalski, Carpenter

  • "Ish helped me find tools that I could use in my day-to-day life to stay grounded and more focused."

    Sofianne Yetto, Customer Success Specialist

  • "Ish did a beautiful job of helping me to feel deeply supported from the moment the session started right through till the end. I felt like I could deeply trust him to go wherever I needed to go in that. If you're thinking about working with Ish, I can't recommend him enough based on my experience of him."

    JACK BUNCE, Healing Guide and Breathwork Facilitator

  • "The processes that we embarked were gut wrenching, soul cleansing, and felt like giving birth. The space that Ish holds is of true reverence to something deeper than many of us can touch, but only feel in our bones. It's been one of the greatest periods of my life. I would recommend him to anyone looking for a deeper dive into their soul.”

    Mikael Hayden, Leadership Coach

  • "I feel very inspired by Ish's work, his leadership skills and when it comes to stepping into my power and pushing through hardships and challenges, life throws at me as opportunities for growth. I can highly recommend working with Ish to anyone who is willing to do the work and may want some guidance of where to start or support on their individual journey. Thank you Ish!"

    Joel Rafalski, Cabinetmaker and Landscaper

  • "Ish has helped me to be aware of some parts of my character that I was not aware of in my whole life before. His immense care and devotion to my evolution has as helped to improve my knowledge on soft skills to better understand my personality and behavior with others, and how to shift them for betterment for all.”

    JANETH MORA, Head of Customer Success

  • "Ish has been an incredible catalyst for growth and change in my life. He's been someone I have trusted countless times to help me find the true voice of my soul, to learn to love and trust more deeply and live more authentically. His energy alone is medicine. I can't recommend this man's work enough!.”

    JASSY BLUE, WOMEN’S LIBERATION MENTOR